Johan_Olsson
Medlem
[humor-tråden]: skriv ditt kassa skämt här änna
a
Senast ändrad:
Pigmachine
Ny medlem
[humor-tråden]: skriv ditt kassa skämt här änna
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so St. Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"
The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balchoy."
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and St. Peter asked for his story.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."
The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balchoy."
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and St. Peter asked for his story.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."
Pigmachine
Ny medlem
[humor-tråden]: skriv ditt kassa skämt här änna
A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter.
St. Peter asks the first girl, "Jessica, have you ever had any contact with a penis?" She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger." St. Peter says, "OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer have you ever had any contact with a penis?" The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well once I fondled and stroked one." St. Peter says, "OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."
All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she
reaches the front of the line St. Peter says, "Lisa! What seems to be the rush?"
The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Tiffany sticks her arse in it.
St. Peter asks the first girl, "Jessica, have you ever had any contact with a penis?" She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger." St. Peter says, "OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer have you ever had any contact with a penis?" The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well once I fondled and stroked one." St. Peter says, "OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."
All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she
reaches the front of the line St. Peter says, "Lisa! What seems to be the rush?"
The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Tiffany sticks her arse in it.
[humor-tråden]: skriv ditt kassa skämt här änna
Sernevi skrev:
-------------------------------------------------------
> cappet skrev:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > det var en gång en gång, men den gången e
> > sandad nu
>
>
> vad var det för gång? En gång-gång eller en
> vanlig gång?
tror det är en vanlig gång
-------------------------------------------------------
> cappet skrev:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > det var en gång en gång, men den gången e
> > sandad nu
>
>
> vad var det för gång? En gång-gång eller en
> vanlig gång?
tror det är en vanlig gång
edgedaniel
Medlem
[humor-tråden]: skriv ditt kassa skämt här änna
Vad är det för likhet på en svan?
den kan varken cykla
den kan varken cykla
erik.scott
Ny medlem
[humor-tråden]: skriv ditt kassa skämt här änna
Varför körde mekanikern ner bilen i havet?
Han behövde väl tången...
Varför ligge så många ålderdomshem vid vatten?
Så att de gamla ska få ro, givetvis.
Han behövde väl tången...
Varför ligge så många ålderdomshem vid vatten?
Så att de gamla ska få ro, givetvis.
[humor-tråden]: skriv ditt kassa skämt här änna
Det mest häpnadsväckande med den här tråden är väl att den så konsekvent har följt ämnesraden "kassa skämt". Inte ens Adde Malmberg hade godtagit detta som manus. Jag funderar allvarligt på att kräva trådskaparen på ersättning för psykiskt lidande.
[humor-tråden]: skriv ditt kassa skämt här änna
johnsson91 skrev:
-------------------------------------------------------
> det var en gång två grodor och en gås som va
> ute o fiskade
Haha... Underbart, det här blir bara sämre och sämre. För en gångs skull har vi åtminstone hållit oss till ämnet.
-------------------------------------------------------
> det var en gång två grodor och en gås som va
> ute o fiskade
Haha... Underbart, det här blir bara sämre och sämre. För en gångs skull har vi åtminstone hållit oss till ämnet.
[humor-tråden]: skriv ditt kassa skämt här änna
Rolf.A skrev:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ett jävvligt gött gbg skämt:
>
> Kalle och Ada satt och käkade och då frågade
> Kalle
>
> -Är du mätt?
>
> -Ja, en och åttiotre..
>
>
> //
> Roffe
HAHA! Underbar =)
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ett jävvligt gött gbg skämt:
>
> Kalle och Ada satt och käkade och då frågade
> Kalle
>
> -Är du mätt?
>
> -Ja, en och åttiotre..
>
>
> //
> Roffe
HAHA! Underbar =)
Nicko rookie
Ny medlem
[humor-tråden]: skriv ditt kassa skämt här änna
vad är det för skillnad på en anka??
Båda benen är lika långa särskilt det ena
Båda benen är lika långa särskilt det ena
carl.josefsson
Aktiv medlem
[humor-tråden]: skriv ditt kassa skämt här änna
Det var två bagare och en smet
mzi
Aktiv medlem
[humor-tråden]: skriv ditt kassa skämt här änna
plumse skrev:
-------------------------------------------------------
> - Vet ni varför programmerare ofta har så bra
> betalt?
> - ????
> - De har [alt] under [ctrl]
Fast det gäller ju bara på gamla hederliga tangentbord som DEC LK-401 och liknande. Moderna tangentbord har ju Caps Lock där Control ska sitta. (Och saknar helt Compose och Meta!)
-------------------------------------------------------
> - Vet ni varför programmerare ofta har så bra
> betalt?
> - ????
> - De har [alt] under [ctrl]
Fast det gäller ju bara på gamla hederliga tangentbord som DEC LK-401 och liknande. Moderna tangentbord har ju Caps Lock där Control ska sitta. (Och saknar helt Compose och Meta!)
Liknande trådar
41 svar
Köp & Sälj
-
-
Säljes i Göteborg -
Säljes i Södermanland -
Säljes i Göteborg -
Säljes i Göteborg
