SOPWAMTOS Golden Toiddy awards 2005

[Newsboy]

The best news of the last two days of the show was the resurrection of the Golden Toiddy awards. A staple of Interbikes past, thanks to Bruce Gordon and his nefarious crew, the awards come from the Society of People Who Actually Make Their Own Shit (SOPWAMPTOS), and are not intended to flatter. No overlong acceptance speeches here, especially if you're getting the Same Shit, Different Shovel award, as Marzocchi did. "I think we can agree that we're all tired of half-naked girls serving coffee," said Sean Walling. Well, no, actually, but thanks just the same. Here are the remainder of the awards:

Best U.S. Bike Company Made in Taiwan: Surly.
The Magazine Most Likely to Feature a Picture of a Man's Penis: The Outcast.
Self Appointed Guru: Grant Peterson.
The Raising the Bar award went to an anonymous gentleman whom Walling called "the Specialized penis-meter guy." (He apparently was unavailable or unwilling to respond to an invitation to address the throng.)
The Bike Company Most Successful with Rich White Men: Seven Cycles.
Same Shit, Different Shovel: Marzocchi. "I think we can agree that we're all tired of half-naked women serving coffee," noted Walling.
Best On-Shore Sweatshop: Timbuk2.
Just Because: Gary Fisher.
The only carbon-fiber toiddy, the Enough Already award, was presented to the whole industry. "Deep underneath this there is a steel core, but it's wrapped in carbon fiber," quipped Walling.
And last, but not least, the inaugural Golden Fist award went to Cannondale for what Walling sardonically called "their successful reorganization."

 

[Boe]

fniss fniss

 

[Markus F]

..Self appointed Guru och Bike company most successful with rich white men... tihitihi
Men vad är en "Toiddy" och vem stod bakom prisutdelningen?

 

[Tobbe Arnesson]

Hänna ä va Surly säger om saken:

>>Surly got a Golden Toidy award from The Society Of People Who Actually Make Their Own Shit (SOPWAMTOS) for "Best Company Making Stuff In Taiwan." This award, a toilet seat embossed with glitter glue lettering, is sort of a back handed compliment, saying "we like you, but we'd like you better if...". And it's in that spirit I'd like to thank all involved; for example, the toilet seat itself showed no indication of hand-fabrication, meaning it was probably purchased from a home supply store of some sort, and therefore was probably made in China, Malaysia, or somewhere in that area; i.e., not made by SOPWAMTOS. The part they did do was the lettering, which began to come off less than 30 minutes after we received it. Fine American workmanship. Thanks fellas. We'll hang it proudly. [disclaimer: i love many U.S. bike companies and crave their products like junkies crave The Horse. I have a great deal of respect for companies that can make a go of domestic manufacture in this era, and come from hardy midwestern stock of working class Americans. I know who I am and where I'm from. I said what I said herein to point out hipocrisy in a satirical manner, not to piss off U.S. manufacturers. Save the emails, please.]

 

[Markus F]

Jag tycker nog att Surlygubbarna blev lite gnälliga där.. Dom har väl aldrig stuckit under stol med att deras prylar inte är USA-tillverkade?

Made in Taiwan är väl OK, jag köper hellre en hoj tillverkad i Taiwan än något som är gjort i Kina eller USA.

 

[erol/frost]

Mmm, gnällich.

Lite annat saxat från Surly-bloggen:

"On the way out of Vegas we met with 2 people (unrelated to Interbike) who, having partied a little too hardy and a little too recently, were still barfing into whatever receptacle was handy. One was a girl in the airport near the ticketing counters, holding her hair back and cry-puking into a garbage can. The other lady was on our flight and was taken away at flight's end on one of those airport golf carts, looking equal parts sick and ashamed."

Cry-puking. Gråt-kräkas. Usch.